This post may be small, but it is tremendously important. If the very existence of CSPAN says anything about the current state of affairs in America, it says that we care a hell of a lot about public policy. Well, CSPAN can't pull all the weight. I have a soapbox here too, I guess, and thus I need to take my fair share of the responsibility of informing the greater public.

The Blood Pirates have taken over Snelling Avenue. Or at the very least, the Blood Pirates have taken over the travel agency across the street from Har-Mar Mall on Snelling Avenue.

Regardless of these territorial ambiguities, I salute you, new pirate leaders, and I sincerely hope that diplomatic relations between your newly sovereign pirate-nation and the inner-ring suburb of Roseville will be peaceful and mutually advantageous. Some might say that your self-identity--the whole "blood pirate" thing--provokes fears that you will be decidedly un-peaceful in your dealings with other entities. I do not believe this in the least. I believe you have a shining legacy of being fair and just pirates. Some might say that your proclivities to rape hags and plunder coastal towns and such are character flaws. I would never say this; I think them quite charming.

You shall be an invaluable addition to the Snelling Avenue landscape, pirates! I cannot wait to encounter you guys in the neighborhood. I hope to see you in a local Twin Cities Federal Bank, batting at an ATM with your prosthesis. I hope to see you at the new Super Target--built on the site of the very first Target, I might add!--comically unable to figure out where the parakeet feed is (Target, you see, wouldn't have parakeet feed, silly goose!) I hope to see you passed out on the floor of the Old Chicago restaurant long after closing time, when the middle-aged fellow who slowly pushes around that little Bissel cleaner is too tired to try to move you. Also, for your information, Barnes and Noble is so much more than just men's interest magazines, you wacky pirates!

So perhaps some people will not understand you, Blood Pirates. Perhaps the nuances and idiosyncracies of your behavior will never seem as splendid to some as they do to me. Regardless of what they are telling me to do, I extend my hand in the utmost amity possible.